


define soulmates

by jacemaia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alliance Rune, F/M, SADLY clary had to be part of this, Soulmates, Super angsty, and she answered, but not endgame, i stayed up to at least one am writing this, i've had this idea for a while honestly, she's the one who he called
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 09:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11529060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacemaia/pseuds/jacemaia
Summary: Jace dialed the first number that came to mind.Maia was that number.





	define soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> They're going to be important in each other's lives for the foreseeable future.

After all that had happened, Maia still lived in the same apartment in Manhattan. She still used half her salary to pay for rent for a crappy apartment. She still worked at the Hunter’s Moon. She still had dreams and yet she still didn’t know what to do with those dreams. Dreams of getting a master’s degree, dreams of doing something with her life.

Not that Maia didn’t appreciate everything she had.

She appreciated Luke, who after certain recent events had taken up more of a father role with her.

She appreciated Simon, who had become the friend she desperately needed.

She appreciated Bat, who would always be there for her, would always choose her.

She also appreciated Jace.

Who had become her soulmate.

_All things considered, Maia still didn’t trust the Shadowhunters when they let Downworlders fight by their sides. Nonetheless, she fought, because she was fighting for her home, her people. It was not for the Shadowhunters, not for their kind, so Maia often asked herself why she saved one._

_Then another._

_And another._

_Why she fought by wolf and Shadowhunter alike, why she put her back to a Shadowhunter’s and trusted them. The adrenaline must have gotten to her brain,  yet she kept fighting like her life depended on it - and in that moment it did. And so did Jace’s._

_“Maia.” Jace had panted, spinning her around. Something had drawn Maia to him and if she could cut that tether she would, but it pulled relentlessly and didn’t let go and it made her scream and cry and kick and yell, but she followed that link. She followed that feeling until she fought with Jace and had his back the way Alec should have._

_Somewhere in the distance a flash of red light and an arrow. Alec had another back to protect and it was Maia, not Clary, not Isabelle, not even Simon or Luke or Meliorn who fell into place at Jace’s back. Jace hadn’t even questioned it because Maia considered that maybe he felt that tether, too. A tether they couldn’t toy with, couldn’t explore, because Jace wasn’t in love with her._

_And she wasn’t in love with Jace._

_“Do you trust me?”_ __  
  
Maia snorted. “No.” She said but grabbed his hand anyway and they ran. To where? Maia had had to trust him in that moment. The arrows and flashing red lights disappeared, the glowing green eyes and howls faded, and they were alone, but they weren’t. Maia was breathing hard, her leather jacket, which a Shadowhunter had provided her - “Oh? Do I get to wear the fancy color of black now? Or is it a lack of color?” That had earned a glare from the Shadowhunter in question - and two thigh holsters.

_She didn’t need it._

_Maia_ was _the weapon._

_But to have Jace’s back she couldn’t wolf out and end up naked and covered in blood. Jace grabbed her face and the pounding in her ears died away, both their chests caving in and in with each breath, and Maia clung to his wrists. “Alec has Magnus, Izzy has Simon, Clary and Luke… they… but we.”_

_That stupid rune. The one thing Maia wanted Clary to take back more than anything. Of course, maybe she could take back existing. Take back whatever irresistible charm she had that had taken Simon and Jace out of the future she may have stayed up late at night planning. A future where she got her master’s degree and Simon did too, or Jace put his life in danger constantly, but they came home and were normal._

_Aside from blood running down the drain and cuts needing to bandaged, and nightmares and horrors haunting them, she and Jace were normal. Jace waited for her to come home, wanted her to come home. She was desired, wanted, needed in a different way than she had been when she was too naive, too dumb not to trust the boy with green eyes._

_Clary had taken that away from her. Maia wondered if she could have escaped this fate, or if she was on the path of destruction from the beginning. If Clary would always tear down everything she had slowly become to want, need, cling to. She had taken Gretel, she had taken Alaric, she had taken the loose setting of Luke’s shoulders and his laugh. She had taken half the pack, she had taken two boys who… who laughed when she made a joke. Who smiled when she tilted her head down and couldn’t see. Whose eyes lit up when she poured them a drink._

_“Maia, do this with me. Not just for this battle, not just to make both of us stronger, but forever.”_

_Forever. That sounded nice. Really nice. Something promised, something never to be taken away, but Maia knew those were lies. She blinked up at Jace and wondered if she hadn’t told him it meant nothing in that alleyway if he would have stayed, maybe. Come back. If anything, he wouldn’t have gone back to Clary. Maybe Maia should have gone back to Simon, but she would never be a second choice. She would be a first choice or not a choice at all._

_It had meant something, though. Jace’s stupid smirk, his laugh, how he understood her and how she understood him it meant something. Maia let loose a shuddered breath and she turned around, pushing her jacket down and lifting up her hair. “Does it sting?”_

_“A little bit. Like a bee sting.” Jace muttered, his breath sending goosebumps down her spine as he moved her sleeve away, and Maia’s back stiffened as his Shadowhunter-pen touched her shoulder blade. Maia bit her lip and it was over in a moment and Jace ran his hand over it and Maia thought this was one of the darkest tragedies she’d ever experienced._

_She broke out of it and grabbed Jace’s forearm, taking his stele, and listening to his instructions. She pushed his arm away when the mark glowed and she looked up at him and their fingertips touched, but there was nothing there. Nothing… that gave Maia hope. She pulled her jacket back on and stepped back. “I’ll find you if you need me.”_

_“Me too.”_ __  
  
Jace whispered.

_“End this, Jace,” Maia said as Jace turned around. He looked over his shoulder and Maia swallowed. She couldn't lose anyone else. “End all of this.”_

_With a nod Jace ran back to Clary._

_Maia ran back to her pack._

_She had meant it, she swore she had meant it. It had happened so quickly, the electric feeling searing down her back. She felt paralyzed, her body frozen, her mind swimming and exploding, and she screamed and fell to her knees, gripping her head._ I’ll find you if you need me _._

_The pain, the suffering, it was hers. It was Jace’s. Somewhere, clutching to the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Alec felt it too. Maia growled and she couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop the anger from waking up her wolf, couldn’t stop it from taking over. She wished she had fallen into the back seat, had passed out and let her wolf take over. It wasn’t that simple._

_Limbs broke and shifted, clothes tore and fell off her body and Maia pushed herself to the front seat and she ran. Ran towards, yet away that pain. Like the day she had chased Jace down New York, she ran, her target locked. It was the most pain she had ever felt. Not even her first shift compared to this, because now it was everything she felt and everything Jace felt combined._

_She blacked out somewhere, she knew that much. What she didn’t know - not until she woke up, not until Bat had found her, wrapping her in his jacket, staring down at her - not until he had told her._

_Not until he had held her, picked her up. This… this new werewolf. Bad luck. They all had bad luck. Had she had known, god had she had known this not so little runt would be carrying her back to Luke, telling her Jace had died, come back to life, defied everything all people feared, had she had known a new_ something _would spark._

_Hell, she would have left him to fend for himself. Because she was tired, so tired, of everything. She had fallen asleep with her face pressed in his chest, not bothering to ask how he had found her, not bothering to question why her heart ached so much. She was glad she had not, because when she and Bat got back, found everything destroyed and ruined, Jace was in Clary’s arms._

_“The angel Raziel brought him back. She,” Bat said. Maia forgot he was standing behind her. Jace, this stupid alliance rune, had strengthened that certain effect. “Clary, asked him to. Do you think we can all get favors from angels?”_

_“Not us filthy Downworlders, Bat.”_

_Maia didn’t meant to bite at him, but she had. She didn’t mean to call him filthy, but she felt filthy, and he was physically filthy. Covered in blood and grime and dirt. Newly turned and already blood, purposefully drawn, on his hands. Maia didn’t ask if he had managed to control his wolf. Bat merely hummed and he looked away from the Shadowhunters, who would always choose their own kind, and instead he said. “I was told once the best things come from the worst places.”_

_Yeah. Her love for Jace came from the worst place._

_She saw Bat again. She never stopped seeing Bat._

 

That alliance rune still marked her shoulder as Maia slept in her bed, too small for two people, but she never complained. She liked being pinned so tightly against Bat, her face buried in his chest, his legs bent in an awkward angle. Getting into bed always made both of them laugh and it was good to laugh. Death, it followed them. They lost even more pack members that day, Maia lost even more people she cared about, so being able to smile again, laugh again, was good for her.

Being able to sleep without a nightmare was the best thing for her.

Bat’s face was pressed against her shoulder as he slept, but Maia couldn’t sleep. She felt something, _something_ she hadn’t felt since that day. If there was a way to shut it off, to block Jace out and the feelings that paralleled each other in such a way it was hard not to understand what he was going through, Maia would.

Maia sat up immediately when her phone rang and she answered it, pressing it to her ear. The thing was, no matter how much you hated it, you couldn’t ignore your soulmate. Bat’s arm was slung around her waist and Maia heard heavy breathing on the other side. “Go,” Bat muttered, pulling away and shifting in the bed, one of his legs hanging off. “Go to him.”

Maia pulled herself out of the bed and fumbled around in the dark, the breathing getting heavier and heavier. “Maia.” Jace choked out from the other side, wheezing. He sounded desperate, Maia felt his desperation. She held her phone and wiggled into her underwear and a pair of jeans, already moving, already grabbing her keys.

“Shirt.” Bat mumbled with a slight smile and Maia leaned over the bed and kissed him quickly, grabbing her shirt off the ground and slipping it on, leaving the room and closing the door. Bat was asleep instantly as Maia rushed out of the apartment, jumping on one foot then the next, tying up her shoes.

“Jace. Breathe.” Maia said, setting down the street. If anyone was willing to walk the streets of Manhattan at four o’clock in the morning for you, you better not let them go. Maia was not Jace’s to have, let alone let go, and Jace was not hers, but they would always… be there.

“I’m… trying. I… can’t.”

Maia started running. “Try, damn it.”

Silence on the other end. Maia growled and she called out his name. Again and again. Maia hung up the phone and she ran, ran all the way to the Institute. Even with her wolf stamina, she was out of breath. But she still pushed open the door, still stumbled down the hallway. Thankfully no one was up and the security systems in place for Downworlders was shut down. At least, for those with alliances with Shadowhunters.

“Just breathe, Jace, stay with me.” Maia muttered, pressing her hand on her shoulder blade, before she set off down one of the halls. She remembered where Jace lived. What dorm, what floor. God damn him for living so high up, that Maia couldn’t wait for the elevator, couldn’t wait to see if Jace remembered how to breathe, how to block out the flashes for that long.

Maia took the stairs two at a time, gripping onto the railing. She kept going up and up and up, jumping at some points. Maia couldn’t focus on the burning in her own lungs, because she wasn’t sure if some of that pain came from Jace. Maia spun around and ran down the next hall, running running running, until she reached that final room.

The one closest to the small stairwell that led to the roof. Maia slammed her fists against the door. “Jace!” Be damned who she woke up.a Maia kicked on the door and pushed, breathing hard, pressing her forehead against the cold wood. The door swung open and Maia stumbled inside, and the flash of orange hair made her insides light on fire.

Maia paid Clary no mind, spinning around in a circle. “ _Jace_.” She wheezed, her chest tightening. Where was Alec, did he not… did he not feel this? This agony that Jace gave off, like a signal. Help me, help me. Why did Clary not do anything. Maia growled at her before shoving the bathroom door open, finding Jace biting into his fist, curled into a ball.

Maia fell to her knees and crawled over to him, pushing her hair out of her face, pulling Jace closer. He gasped, snapping out of whatever darkness he had trapped himself in for a false sense of comfort and safety, whatever he had gone back to. He snapped out of it at Maia’s touch and Maia leaned over, gently pulling Jace’s knees out of his chest, pinning his arms down. “Jace. _Jace_. It’s me. It’s Maia.”

Jace shook his head and Maia grabbed his face, wiping the cold sweat off his forehead. She pushed her sleeve down, showing Jace the rune on her shoulder blade. It had slightly faded, not too much. They hadn’t accessed it but they hadn’t redrawn it. Jace’s fingers brushed it. Just like he had brushed it when he drew it, just as he had brushed the back of her neck after he took the tracker out.

Maia grabbed his arm and pushed up his sleeve, showing him his forearm. “It’s me, Jace. It’s _Maia_.” She gripped his wrist, staring at him with an urgency to understand. To understand she was not who he thought she was. God, did she understand that too. So many times Bat had had to grab her, hold her as she kicked and screamed, telling her, pleading with her to understand he was not Jordan.

Jace needed to understand she was not Valentine.

“Where’s Alec, Jace?” Maia whispered, watching as Jace pressed his forehead to the cool tile, his knees locked under his body weight. His back shuddered and Maia rubbed his spine gently, pushing his hair out of his face, rowing this boat through the rough waters and hoping she could save Jace from drowning.

“ _Maia_.” Jace gasped out, his nails digging into the tile fruitlessly.

“Maia.” She nodded.

He had called her, not Alec. Though Maia couldn’t be certain Jace didn’t call Alec. But she knew Alec. Alec was one of the only Shadowhunters she called friend. He wouldn’t ignore Jace. He would run down the streets of New York has she had, jump over the moon, race up fifty flights of stairs and shove past Clary just to hold Jace, to help him.

Yes. Jace had defied the one thing everyone feared. He had defied Death itself, but whatever Jace had seen in those few seconds, it was with him forever. Jace shook and he shook and Maia wished she could take away his pain, but all she did was press her face into his back, holding him.

“Maia.” Jace said and Maia pulled away, staring down at him. Jace’s entire shirt was soaked and so was the front of hers, but she didn’t let him go, not yet. He hadn’t stopped shaking, but that dull look was out of his eyes. Jace held the side of her neck and Maia turned her body, letting Jace pushed down her shirtsleeve again, letting him see that _stupid_ rune.

It wasn’t stupid at all.

Soulmate. It was the only world Maia could find for this. What this was and always would be.

 

 **_Soulmate. A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner_ **.

 

“I’m sorry.” Jace said, pushing himself up. Maia helped him, gripping his shoulder, setting him against the wall. The bathroom was small, too small for Jace. He needed space, breathing room. Maia said nothing about it as she got a cloth, put it under the running cold water, and came back to slowly wipe Jace’s face off.

“Don’t be.”

Jace swallowed thickly as Maia wiped down his neck, focusing on his pulse, anything except those eyes. Anything except his face. She could feel what he was feeling to an extent, she didn’t need to see it anymore. Maia made Jace close his eyes and she wiped down his face one last time, before placing the cloth in his hands.

A silence spread, a silence too thick for what they were, what they could never be. Friends had a different silence, even lovers had a difference silence. This silence was breath taking, mind blowing, heart crushing, soul destroying. Maia wanted to break it so bad, but instead she slowly looked up and into Jace’s eyes.

 Jace looked back into her eyes and it looked like something was caught in his throat. Maia pulled her hand away and she stared at Jace and he stared back and she wished so bad he would say something. Anything. A sign he was okay, a sign he would be okay. A sign that he… he was trying to heal.

“Clary.” Jace whispered and the silence was broken. Maia was glad he said something, that way she knew for sure. Knew for sure what kind of soulmates they were. “Clary, where-”

Maia blinked and she pulled away. She got up and stepped out the bathroom and Clary jumped up, her hands squeezed together. Maia took her in. A pair of light blue pajama shorts and… one of Jace’s tees. She smelled as she always smelled - the scent of the death of everything Maia ever wanted and deserved. Mixed with wildflowers and paint and chalk. Maia hated all those scents anyway.

“Is he-”

“No he’s not _fine_.” Maia cut her off, glad the bite came out of her voice even as the clock ticked closer and closer to five o’clock. She rolled her eyes and stepped out of the way, looking Clary up and down with narrowed eyes. “You did nothing.”

“Maia, I know we’ve had our differences in the past-”

Maia rose her eyes and she waved her hands in front of her, cutting Clary off. “I’m not doing this with you, Clary, and I never will. Differences is one of the nicest words you can use for it. You have everything, Clary, yet… yet… Jace is dying and you do nothing.”  
  
“He’s not dying.”

“Isn’t he?”

Clary didn’t feel it. Jace was slowly dying and only a shell would be left and she did nothing and Maia refused to commit her life to Jace. To run through New York at all hours and hold him, knowing he may not to the same for because precious Clary may not like it. She would not be that girl, would not live that life. She had someone who held her, who would run through New York, jump over the moon, run of fifty flights of stairs for her. Who let her get out of bed, run to another guy at four am in the morning, knowing what had gone down with that guy. Who held her, let her throw up, let her go through her stages of pain and tried his best to help her through them.

And she had left him back home.

“Take care of him.”  
  
“I do.”  
  
Maia rolled her eyes. She turned away and opened the doors, stepping out into the hallway. She looked back and she felt something, felt it on that tether. Weak, but still beating. She looked and saw Jace with his forehead pressed against Clary’s collarbone, Clary stroking his hair, and Maia hoped it would be enough.

Jace was her soulmate.

But Jace was not the one who loved her.


End file.
